Interview with moody’s in an hour.

Meh didn’t make it lol
Quick to arrive and quick to disappear. But this was no opportunity cost. I learned a valuable lesson about myself… what really drove me to do it, was a motivation that I wasn’t aware of. Or at least I didn’t know how strong this motivation was.

I don’t want my personality to be a weakness, only a strength. It bothers the S#!t out of me when people think they have me all figured out, Prima wouldn’t do this, or that, especially the “it’s not in her to ____” ….

Yes, it is a hindrance that I have a strong morale, that’s not going to change. I will not purposely harm others for personal gain. I believe in self-control, I believe in leading by example, and I know that these are pillars to my existence among other things.

Who I am, is an illiquid asset. Not a current liability. It will not be sold because it is the only intangible asset I possess where the market value of goodwill increases with a long standing maturity stage. And so long as who I am continues to evolve, adapt, and innovate while keeping my brand (the pillars to my existence), then my perceivable decline stage is not of the slightest concern.

I did it because I can, because I can be anyone as long as I am still me.

So… here’s a secret….

I joined a beauty pageant and the semi-finals are this Saturday. Today was the dead-line to submit my 2 minute song that I will play on stage. Pretty much, I am going to keep this on the down – low as long as I can. A fellow Xangan friend of mine was actually the one to send me an application. I never thought I’d do it, and then I ended up submiting the application on the very last day. We only live once right? Why not try to make it to the big screen at least once? I was a nervous wreck at the audition though, I never knew my knees trembled when I’m nervous… that was definitely a first. And I thought it was weird that they asked everyone else these life-long questions, what are their goals, and ambitions in life. Why they felt they should win. I focused all my energy on thinking of answers to those… and when it was my turn. I was asked, what languages do I speak at home, why did I choose to audition in a pink colored bikini, and what animal would I be if I had a choice… oh yea, and… how does it feel to be mix. I’m hoping they just assumed my Chinese would be bad and that I couldn’t answer difficult questions…

wish me luck?