Dear Grandpa,

I wanted to say that you will be missed. That my Cantonese will always be better than any other Cantonese person because you made sure it was damn perfect. My pride and appreciation for my culture and heritage was largely from your influence. I am proud to be your grand daughter. Thank you for taking me with you to China and Hong Kong; you almost never take ANYONE with you on vacation. Thank you for changing my diaper when I was a baby; even though you’ve never changed a diaper in your life, and you had seven children. Thank you for cooking hundred dollar dinners for me when you usually eat extremely cheaply. Thank you for giving me all your favorite movies when you usually keep all your favorites to yourself. I remember when I saw you laugh the most, it was always just you and me. When we were talking on the plane together, or just sitting at the dinner table, or when you told me stories about famous Chinese heroes. You are the first close person to ever leave me and I wish I was able to see you once more before you left. I am happy that you were able to see me graduate college. Grandpa, you and I, we’re both earth dragons, you are exactly 60 years apart from me. Mom told me once, for some reason she always hears our voices yelling at her in the back of her head. I guess in that way, we really were like earth dragons; practical, protective, and frugal. I remember you told me once that you were comfortable telling me things because we had really good chemistry. This mother’s day is one that brings me great sorrow. I love you grandpa, I don’t know how I will react when I see you in two days. Mommy and Aunty Donna sounded so devastated. I just wanted to say… 公公， 我永運都會記住你最溫柔的那一面。

  Day 28 – A picture of your cellphone.

  Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?


This is me and my little sister last Christmas. She’s thirteen. We took this picture on her new Nintendo DSIXL which is awesome btw. Since then, I’ve lost a job, got a job, just got another job yesterday (yay!). I don’t think I’ve really changed much, just moving towards a brighter future (at JP CHASE!). A lot of people used to always assume that I was very independent because of my demeanor. I’m not too sure if I was or wasn’t very independent in my past. My friend’s mother felt that I was very independent since a young age because she felt that I was more of a mother than anything; that I sacrificed a lot to raise my sister correctly. That may have been true, I never thought of it as my time being sacrificed, it gave me a curfew, less money to spend, and motivated me to be a good role-model. It did limit my time with friends, my time with handball, my time dating… but a lot of my friends (and boyfriend at the time) were not only okay with my sister tagging along she often become a big part of our time together. When I was away in college, a lot of good friends helped me out big time, especially my friend’s mother. Being independent is relative. I feel that I rely on a lot of people, but no one seems to feel the burden I’ve put on them… Have I changed? Maybe I’m more independent? I definitely am financially …

*shrug* I am a happy girl though, that’s all that counts right?

Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.

Macau.

Day 25 – Your favorite season and why.

I have two favorite seasons, Spring and Autumn.
Spring is the perfect time to play handball, period. Spring is full of life and colors and people. How could you not love spring?

Autumn is like, the polar opposite. All the trees are dying, the weather is dry, it’s windy, cold, and usually very quiet. But for some reason, it is the environment I am most comfortable in. Hearing the leaves blow up from the streets, just a few siblings at the end of the street playing on their tricycles. The scent of homemade cookies coming from the house next door. The sunset seems to look the best at this time; perhaps because it matches the colors of the leaves. Autumn just has an unparalleled scenery and atmosphere.

In fact, I feel that most of my poems are set in autumn. Preeminent … beautiful… bare… lonely…

What’s your favorite season?

Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Don’t have the photo on me (I’m at work)
But the photo would be of Miss Kitty >.<

Day 23 – 15 more facts about you.

1. I am currently living completely by myself for the first time in my life, and I really enjoy it.
2. I am not making enough to support myself with a 40 hour work week.
3. I am going to sign up for bartending courses on the weekends and grab a license, so that maybe I can support myself without depleting my savings account.
4. I am planning on taking the CFA exam in December.
5. I need a microwave -_- and and and a toaster.
6. Now I understand why people eat disgusting left-overs.
7. Cooking is fun when your food doesn’t come out overcooked or mushy.
8. I am finally getting more motivated to play sports again! Two days ago I played two singles handball games, lost one won one. And yesterday I played a game of b-ball and won >.< That’s 3 wins- 1 loss this 2011 year so far! (I played another b-ball game about a month ago with David and won).
9. After these two days of sports, my lungs feel like they are bursting with oxygen I didn’t previously know how to breath in. – Just to comment on that. I feel like I am starting to understand how the fat cycle works. When you gain weight, working out gets harder and harder. So you work out less – because it’s so hard. Hence you just keep gradually gaining despite your efforts. Before you know it, even simple things like bringing the groceries up the stairs become severely difficult, and you don’t understand how it happened.
10. I have reallllly big hands and feet. And Asian guys really like to remind me of how big my hand and feet are o.O
11. Human behavior really fascinates me.
12. I don’t understand how girls think.
13. I don’t understand why people cheat.
14. I think I am finally old enough to understand the concept of responsibility. Although many people have responsibilities, and may do things “responsibly”. I don’t think a lot of people take responsibility for their actions; I feel that this is most reflected through our legal system. If people took responsibility for their actions, there would be a lot less gray area. Between child support cases to which CFO/CEO to punish. Someone, somewhere isn’t taking responsibility for their actions. And if it’s the whole d*#& company that screwed up, so be it. I’m not satisfied.
15. I really should care more about current events. But ever since 9-11, I’ve just been so put off by the media, that it’s so hard to pick up a paper.

Sounds of summer –
Sing. Crickets chase sun away
And cheer as sun drops sink.
Falling petals dance to June, snickering
With fireflies and hide
As we walk through.
And thus – so here – we stand,
Lost between the tides,
Only to find homeliness
From a glimpse
Of each other’s eyes.
And so the dirt grows cold,
Yet a golden flame ignites
Tonight, I found my soul,
In the arms – of Mr. Right

holy crap i totally just realized i missed the april 16 xanga event -_-

Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you.

Dear person(s) who has hurt me.
I wanted to tell you,
It will always hurt.
Sorries don’t take away
The pain.
I wanted to ask you to –
Accept me.
Embrace what is –
And what will never be.
And it’ll hurt a little less…
My heart can take –
a little rest.